You may have recently read about a Silicon Valley techno-billionaire who wants to break up California into six states because he
hopes it will make him even richer says it’ll be awesomesauce for democracy and stuff (in spite of the dubious constitutionality of the proposal).
The biggest problem is, as you can see in the map accompanying the story above, the names for the new states are boring. Below is my own modest proposal, based on little more than a lack of sleep and about as much insight into California as Hollywood has about most of the states between it and New York. I’ll explain my decisions below:
• Winterfell: This name was chosen because Game of Thrones is cool, and it was the northernmost area. Residents can build an ice wall between them and Oregon if they want, for tourism.
• New California Republic: Fallout New Vegas was a great video game, and having someplace already named after the NCR is just planning for the future.
• United Federation of Planets: So if the Fallout apocalypse doesn’t happen, we can at least get Starfleet to set up shop where it’s supposed to.
• Otisburg: The guy never got to live his dream in Superman the Movie, so I think it’s time we honored this unsung hero of abused minions everywhere.
• San Diego Comic Con: It’s going to keep growing, so we might as well embrace it.
• Mordor: As with Winterfell, geography played the major role in this (it’s the farthest South) along with the Tolkien fanboy in me.
So if it actually manages to happen, I hope those in charge will consider this and take the opportunity to make some truly memorable places to live. The merchandising alone should pay for all the confusion that would ensue, right?